Anxiety

Anxiety is like a terrible friend, who whispers the worst possible outcome in your ear, just before you need to make a decision. It is the worst.

It takes over our conscious, adult functioning and replaces it with the most intense physical sensations: Tightening in the throat, chest, or stomach, a feeling that all of the air has been sucked out of the room, extreme tension, a feeling of indecision and immobility.

This debilitating reaction is so hard to live with. It is also hugely detrimental to our long-term health and wellbeing and often affects our relationships [or ability to be at ease in them] terribly.

It’s said that biology favors anxiety. This is because the most fearful of our ancestors would self-preserve, hiding in a cave and avoiding death by sabertooth tiger, while the braver of our tribe perished fighting the enemy before they could reproduce.

Anxiety is an extreme reaction to perceived danger. The problem is that most of us are not hiding from tigers, we are trying to raise healthy children, work, and live normal, healthy lives in the face of paying bills, driving, working, and dealing with that guy in the corner office, who always knows how to get under your skin.

In our brain, when we experience anxiety, our conscious (neocortical) brain, which is responsible for problem-solving, communication, empathy, and human compassion, comes offline. All of the energy is redirected to the lower (sub-cortical) parts of our brain, which is responsible for our survival. Anxiety bypasses our higher functioning in a survival response. It leaves us in the lurch trying to manage pending, heart-racing panic while trying to act like an adult in the functional world.

So, that is the terrible news… Anxiety happens and it can be extremely debilitating.

The good news is that we know how to help it.

Anxiety is a trauma response, by which I mean it is a spring-loaded reaction, established in our brain and body to keep us safe. As such, we know that it is rooted in triggers held in the deep brain.

Anytime a situation causes an emotional response that is disproportionate to what is happening in the moment, we know it is our body reacting to a past event that is being stored in our body. We know it is the brain trying to prepare and prevent that trauma or pain from recurring.

While you may think you are over (or should be over) that heartache, that betrayal, that sexual assault, that abandonment from your parent, we know that the body keeps a separate score. Sometimes, even when we understand something in our mind, the body and lower brain have yet to receive the memo. These are the pieces that need to be discovered to fully release the trauma of the past.

While triggers vary from person to person, we have the tools to effectively integrate the past, so that anxiety can diminish, and we can be more present in life. If you are having anxiety and it is taking you away from life, you do not need to suffer alone. Successful strategies exist to help you live freely.

When thinking about getting help with anxiety, think about what anxiety costs you in your life? It is really easy to downplay our pain, especially when we are accustomed to it. Often, I hear things like: I don’t fully enjoy my time with my kids. I don’t feel present. I feel like I just can’t relax. Sometimes I need a drink just to let go. I never want to have sex with my partner anymore. I lie awake at night. I feel out of control. I can’t manage my thoughts and worries. I am just so overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do.

These are just a few common examples.

Then imagine what your life might be like if you didn’t have anxiety. What would it feel like to live anxiety-free? How would you be different? What would it feel like to not have to deal with it anymore?

We all have the capacity to heal with the right tools. I would love to help you live a more easeful and present life, for your long-term mental, emotional, physical, and relational well-being.